Letters from myself
To,Krupa
19feb 2036
Hi you!Surprised to receive a mail from yourself?Well,we are not really the same person you know…there have been changes!!!
Lemme remind you about how your yesterday was…You were a dreamer…a true blue romantic…very sensitive..intense and totally crazy!Does your calm exterior still hide the same person inside?
I have a few confessions to make…
First of all the lines around your eyes…I caused them…laughing at the crazy combination of stuff my life was…Curiosity sake,do you still grin the same way?
That bad case of knee pain you get…I am guilty again...high heels…too much trekking…and too much kneeling down as punishment in convents…need I say more?
I learnt to have high expectations out of life and myself…maybe that caused a lot of heartache for you…but I am sure,you wouldn’t want it any other way…na?
Do you still believe in love?I hope you do…And Krupa,Do you still dream….I am sure you do…without your dreams…you have no existence..Does moonlight still move you to tears?Do you still sing songs off-key?
Did you manage to write that book you were planning ?Do you still like sleeping on your tummy..listening to old love songs?
And girl,did you finally meet the man of your dreams?When you both met,was it love at first sight..or did you hate him?How does being in love feel like?Does it really feel like having tyhphoid-giddy,helpless and restless?Is he spunky and funny or intense and dependable?What does he call you?Do you hold hands with him like the way I used to dream of?oh!you have no idea how the answers of these questions worry me!!!
I am jealous of you...you know all the answers…
Long time back, I wanted to have 12 babies,remember? Now I would be happy with two.So how many did you finally settle for?What did you name your daughter..How is she..like you or like her dad?More importantly does she read?
Does the charm of a written word still mesmerize you?How many boooks do you have now?Did you finally manage a library with a fire place,which I used to yearn for?
How has life been-like a roller coaster ride full of ups and downs..or like a merry-go-around…a happy cheerful ride?Do you look back and miss me or you think you are better than me?
You know Krupa,there are times when I don’t want to ever become you…and some times..I can’t wait to be you…Are you still clueless about what you want out of life? I hope not!
Finally there are a few questions I need answer to…
Krupa, are you content?
Are you happy?
Do you regret the decisions I made for you?
Rest assured, I will always love you.
Take care…
Krupa
15,Feb2006
PS:Do you still feel guilty when you eat chocolate fantasy?
To,
Krupa
Nov 1,2000.
Krupa,I thought I would write a letter to you..to answer a few questions which used to plague your mind….You must be enjoying your 18th birthday…I remember that it was the best birthday party I ever had…
I have shoulder -length hair now.I know,you had sworn never to grow your hair..but I actually like it this way..
I am a working woman..i stay alone..yes!it’s true…and I am having a great time too.You are uncomfortable going out alone…you are unimaginably shy,feel tongue tied to talk to strangers…and your stage fear..is legendary!You know what?
I go shopping alone…Can talk to anyone now and I just realized that I am pretty ok on the stage…talk about changing!I have kept our dream world intact..its still my haven…I still dream,grin like a maniac..cry over silly reasons…and talk gibberish,just like you!I miss those times on the lazy-chair in our terrace.. times spent sipping on a big mug of tea..and dreaming…
I miss those crazy girls day-outs, you take for granted…I miss that girl gang, which you are the centre of…I still keep in touch with them and I love them very much,but we don’t hang out a lot together…once every week.
Can you believe it Krups,many of your friends are married…
And here is a let down..the dream man who was supposed to sweep me off my feet,is yet to show up.I sometimes doubt his existence and have a gut feeling that if he does turn up he will insist that we go dutch!
The doubts I face in life are more daunting than the stuff you worried about…but overall,I must say life has been interesting.
Guess what?i learnt salsa..and also went horse-riding…
Horse riding is not like what you thought it would be..forget galloping,I cant even get that horse to move!It hurts like hell..but its fun.I guess anything worthy of learning..is exactly like that!
If only you knew the books I read now…I have collected so many more books…
I have lost your art of writing beautiful long letters…I have no time for fabric-painting..and rarely do I go out and get wet in the rain..just for the sake of getting wet.
But I write a lot…travel a lot..and hey!i did take that trip to kerala..its as beautiful as you imagined it to be.
Just like you,I am trying to reduce weight,but I am not maniacal about it anymore.
It's one of the realities I am ok with!
So,I just wanted to add that I am grateful for the decisions you made…and I love you.
Take care,
Krupa19 feb 2006.
19feb 2036
Hi you!Surprised to receive a mail from yourself?Well,we are not really the same person you know…there have been changes!!!
Lemme remind you about how your yesterday was…You were a dreamer…a true blue romantic…very sensitive..intense and totally crazy!Does your calm exterior still hide the same person inside?
I have a few confessions to make…
First of all the lines around your eyes…I caused them…laughing at the crazy combination of stuff my life was…Curiosity sake,do you still grin the same way?
That bad case of knee pain you get…I am guilty again...high heels…too much trekking…and too much kneeling down as punishment in convents…need I say more?
I learnt to have high expectations out of life and myself…maybe that caused a lot of heartache for you…but I am sure,you wouldn’t want it any other way…na?
Do you still believe in love?I hope you do…And Krupa,Do you still dream….I am sure you do…without your dreams…you have no existence..Does moonlight still move you to tears?Do you still sing songs off-key?
Did you manage to write that book you were planning ?Do you still like sleeping on your tummy..listening to old love songs?
And girl,did you finally meet the man of your dreams?When you both met,was it love at first sight..or did you hate him?How does being in love feel like?Does it really feel like having tyhphoid-giddy,helpless and restless?Is he spunky and funny or intense and dependable?What does he call you?Do you hold hands with him like the way I used to dream of?oh!you have no idea how the answers of these questions worry me!!!
I am jealous of you...you know all the answers…
Long time back, I wanted to have 12 babies,remember? Now I would be happy with two.So how many did you finally settle for?What did you name your daughter..How is she..like you or like her dad?More importantly does she read?
Does the charm of a written word still mesmerize you?How many boooks do you have now?Did you finally manage a library with a fire place,which I used to yearn for?
How has life been-like a roller coaster ride full of ups and downs..or like a merry-go-around…a happy cheerful ride?Do you look back and miss me or you think you are better than me?
You know Krupa,there are times when I don’t want to ever become you…and some times..I can’t wait to be you…Are you still clueless about what you want out of life? I hope not!
Finally there are a few questions I need answer to…
Krupa, are you content?
Are you happy?
Do you regret the decisions I made for you?
Rest assured, I will always love you.
Take care…
Krupa
15,Feb2006
PS:Do you still feel guilty when you eat chocolate fantasy?
To,
Krupa
Nov 1,2000.
Krupa,I thought I would write a letter to you..to answer a few questions which used to plague your mind….You must be enjoying your 18th birthday…I remember that it was the best birthday party I ever had…
I have shoulder -length hair now.I know,you had sworn never to grow your hair..but I actually like it this way..
I am a working woman..i stay alone..yes!it’s true…and I am having a great time too.You are uncomfortable going out alone…you are unimaginably shy,feel tongue tied to talk to strangers…and your stage fear..is legendary!You know what?
I go shopping alone…Can talk to anyone now and I just realized that I am pretty ok on the stage…talk about changing!I have kept our dream world intact..its still my haven…I still dream,grin like a maniac..cry over silly reasons…and talk gibberish,just like you!I miss those times on the lazy-chair in our terrace.. times spent sipping on a big mug of tea..and dreaming…
I miss those crazy girls day-outs, you take for granted…I miss that girl gang, which you are the centre of…I still keep in touch with them and I love them very much,but we don’t hang out a lot together…once every week.
Can you believe it Krups,many of your friends are married…
And here is a let down..the dream man who was supposed to sweep me off my feet,is yet to show up.I sometimes doubt his existence and have a gut feeling that if he does turn up he will insist that we go dutch!
The doubts I face in life are more daunting than the stuff you worried about…but overall,I must say life has been interesting.
Guess what?i learnt salsa..and also went horse-riding…
Horse riding is not like what you thought it would be..forget galloping,I cant even get that horse to move!It hurts like hell..but its fun.I guess anything worthy of learning..is exactly like that!
If only you knew the books I read now…I have collected so many more books…
I have lost your art of writing beautiful long letters…I have no time for fabric-painting..and rarely do I go out and get wet in the rain..just for the sake of getting wet.
But I write a lot…travel a lot..and hey!i did take that trip to kerala..its as beautiful as you imagined it to be.
Just like you,I am trying to reduce weight,but I am not maniacal about it anymore.
It's one of the realities I am ok with!
So,I just wanted to add that I am grateful for the decisions you made…and I love you.
Take care,
Krupa19 feb 2006.
posted by krupa at
2:11 AM
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