Foreword:
Becoz of the overwhelming angry response from my readers, I would like to add these following notes
This post
-was a failed attempt to be funny.
-This is not the opinion of all women...just mine.When I use "women" I actually mean me(n a few gals I know).
-I have nothing against any guy(other than Timberlake and Upen Patel).When I mean women are nice I do not in anyway imply that men are in any way less nice.
-When I mean men..I actually mean men I know.There might be many men who hate cars and mechanics..n love pottery n cooking.I totally respect you and whatever it is you feel.
-This is not exactly high brow.Its not smart or imaginative or cool.Its slightly pretentious..but some pretension never hurt any one.


I am in a strange kind of dilemma. However much I pretend...the honest truth is that it does matter what people think of my posts. Anything surreal or descriptive...Vasuki freaks out. Anything which is not dreamy Saif yawns (loudly) while reading; I gave up poetry as I cant rhyme and anything related to my dance class offends people enough to make rude suggestions

So I have decided to just rant and throw some useless nuggets of feminine wisdom/facts/thoughts at you.So here it is-

Women don’t like adjustable chairs (I know two other girls who hate them along with me…so the generalization). In my office I was always afraid that the chair would suddenly collapse down. In fact I do not like anything which comes with screws. Anything mechanical, technical or electrical freaks me out. Of course there are some brave women who have overcome these fears...but I do not think they “enjoy” changing a bulb or fixing a carburetor. My husband loves staring at the insides of a car engine...and gazes at his tool kit as if it were a Van Gogh painting. I think that’s why women marry men…not having to change the fuse.


Women don’t like kids anymore than you do….ok! Some crazy women do. But mostly…we don’t. Of course when a baby gurgles…we find it adorable. But when they howl…we are just as terrified as any guy is. Impertinent kids get on our nerves as much as they get on yours. I have seen boys who expect girls to make cute faces at any kid which passes by. Women love their kids…not all kids. Period.


You have cricket, soccer, golf, baseball and video games. We have shopping. Let’s not be rude to each other.

Women are not dumb. If a girl scores better than you…of course she mugs up all the answers. A female gets a promotion; she must be sleeping with the boss. We beat you all at you own game and get you all to marry us and give us your credit cards. That’s pure genius!

A guy has many girl friends...oooh! He is a woman killer. Girl has many boy friends...she must be a slut. Double standards? You bet. That’s why we have our revenge by nagging and complaining of headaches.

Never ever praise someone else’s wife in front of yours. Better slash your own wrists. In fact don’t praise any woman in front of us (other than Mother Theresa and Oprah). In the book of “Things you should never do in front of your wife” this is next only to answering the question “Do I look fat?” with a yes or a pause!

We have resigned ourselves to the fact that you’ll never get over staring at other women. But drooling with your eyes popping out? Please refrain.

On a date...never
Tell us how sweet you are.
Crib about your ex.
Whine about how costly eating out is.
Stare anywhere below our neckline.
Lecture about nuclear physics.
Wear anything shiny and red.

Women like puppies. But not men who act like puppies. There is no bigger turn off than desperation. Don’t be cold either. Be interested and suave. Humphrey Bogart never drooled over a woman. That’s why he got kissed so many times.

For the love of God…cut your nails.

Now...I know most of you will comment saying that I am a feminist and I write mean things about men…just for the fun of it.

You are absolutely right.

I wish i could

My mom has written a blog about her secret silly desire and I thought of making a confession too.

I have half a mind not to write this post...as I know it would surely make people laugh at me. But then I’m a person who likes a good laugh and well…you all laugh enough at me already...so why bother now?

I always wanted to do a rain dance-the whole bollywood package, you know!

I don’t know when I started to think about it...all I can say is that I think of it often!

I have imagined it in great detail. Sometimes Imagination is all we have, and it will do. Hot summer afternoons, I would lie on my back on the floor and think whether I wanted a blue saree or red one. Many people think yellow looks good on me but I definitely don’t want a white saree (I am not cute enough to look like Chandni)!!!

Sometimes I think I should give up on this whole saree business and stick to shorts like Kajol in yeh dillagi or at least calf length pants like Sridevi in Chaal baaz.

In fact I can’t even decide whether I want to do an“enjoying the rain” song “look at me I’m so sexy” rain dance! When I see Zeenat Aman sway in “yeh mausam aur yeh doori”...I’m almost sure that I want to do the second kinda dance…but then the good thing about things happening in your head is that…you never have to make a decision.

I have had my set of rain dances with friends…but we always ended up feeling like bums and looking like wet cats...with our clothes sticking to us in all unflattering ways...far away from the sexy heroines who would look gorgeous! Pour some water on them and they would turn into sensuous sirens who’d break the will of a stone. Water on us...and the only effect would be that our mascara would run!

When Buddha in his wisdom said “Desire is the root cause of all sorrow”, he must have had his reasons. All I know is that this silly wish of mine has given me lot of happy hours.